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Two Kinds of Loneliness
In the spiritual life we have to make a distinction between two kinds of loneliness. In the first loneliness, we are out of touch with God and experience ourselves as anxiously looking for someone or something that can give us a sense of belonging, intimacy, and home. The second loneliness comes from an intimacy with God that is deeper and greater than our feelings and thoughts can capture.
We might think of these two kinds of loneliness as two forms of blindness. The first blindness comes from the absence of
Light, the second from too much light. The first
Loneliness we must try to outgrow with faith and hope. The second we must be willing to embrace in love. [Henry Nouwen… “Bread for the Journey”]
I often time oscillate between these two feelings. There are two kinds of loneliness;”In the first loneliness, we are out of touch with God and experience ourselves as anxiously looking for someone or something that can give us a sense of belonging, intimacy, and home”; while the second loneliness comes from an intimacy with God that is deeper and greater than our feelings and thoughts can capture.”
With so much changing so rapidly these days it is hard to figure out which direction we are going. Change is not evil. Change is actually good because as long as we are changing it means that we are alive! To be alive, especially in the life of the Lord we do often time get blindness by a lack of light to lead us. There is so much that we want and desire that too many times we find ourselves chasing the wrong things, wrong goals, and wrong ambitions. The lack of God’s light leading us pushes us away from God into corners we would rather not experience.
On the other side, we also find many times and places in life when we have an “Ah-ha” moment when we are spiritually lifted and perhaps become blind to the real needs of our lives. We become so absorbed in that special feeling, that specific event that we find it hard to function back in reality, in our normal routines, in those places where we are called to serve.
Finding one’s way is difficult enough without a disability. Yet perceiving oneself as spiritually whole can lead to those moments when I forget that I am disabled and find myself trapped in a corner with too much light. “So find the balance?” I tell myself and that is most often where I find God residing in my daily life’s routines.
This meditation by Henry Nouwen opened my spiritual eyes to looking at the many gifts I have and not needing to search for something more, something I don’t have, and something I probably don’t need. It opens my insight to seeing what is real and necessary in my life as a “one-legged blind guy” who has limitations. Yet, when I embrace my disabilities I am able to “mount up like on wings of eagles” (Isaiah 40:31) or set myself free from burdens that are not necessary (like worrying about something that I cannot change or do anything about) and I move forward in love. God’s love!
Have a great day and I hope that these thoughts perhaps help you reflection upon who you are and where you are going…? Mark |